How can you get four suits for under $2.00?

Buy a deck of cards.

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Why does she keep cleaning the floors?

Me: Her stepsisters make her. 5: She should just buy a Roomba.

When should you buy a bird?

When it's going Cheep.

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Which actor is best suited for a programmer role?

Dev Patel.

How do you call a robber in a suit of armor?

A thief in the knight

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Why didn't the sailors play cards on the deck?

Because the captain was sitting on the top of the deck.

How do you test a pirate for crabs?

Swab the deck!

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Why should you never play cards in the jungle?

Because of all the cheetahs

What animal should you never play cards with?

A cheetah