Buy a deck of cards.
Reddit gold.
A good vacuum cleaner !
This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.
Stark naked.
deck the halls with boughs of free cash
Because no matter what card you cross, and how many, you're bound to start a fire.
Alligator for her birthday was a card !