How can you get four suits for under $2.00?

Buy a deck of cards.

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What is the worst place to have the "you break it, you buy it" rule?

The pet store

Why did the iPhone 7 cross the road?

To buy another pair of AirPods.

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Why did the black guy wear a suit and tie to his vasectomy?

Well, if I'm gonna be impotent, I'm gonna look impotent."

Which actor is best suited for a programmer role?

Dev Patel.

Deck Jokes More Deck Jokes

What's Bernie Sanders favorite Christmas Carols?

deck the halls with boughs of free cash

Why can't pirates play any card games?

Because someone's always on the deck!

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Why don't the zebra and the lion like to play cards in the prairie?

CAUSE THERE'S TOO MANY CHEETAHS!!!

Who's there ! Alligator ! Alligator who ?

Alligator for her birthday was a card !