Why did the spreadsheets get divorced?

They just couldn't sort things out.

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What's the only thing that grows in Ferguson?

The crime rate.

What's that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Oh yeah. Imagination.

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What sort of transport does a sheep use?

A ewe-nicycle

What sort of perfume do snakes prefer ?

Poison by Christian Dior !

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Why did the spreadsheets get divorced?

They just couldn't sort things out.

Why do you love me?

Wife: *shrugs* Me: Why do you find me annoying Wife: *reveals six spreadsheets and a pie chart*