Why didn't Edward leave Russia?

Cause he was snowden.

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What does Ronda Rousey's opponents and myself have in common?

We both barely last 14 seconds and leave our partners underwhelmed.

What does Lenin say when he his angry?

I will hit you so hard that it will leave a Marx.

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What's the difference between Texas and Russia?

One's a disgusting cesspool full of paranoid, bigoted, anti-American sadists, and the other is really cold.

Why did the US Informant get stuck in Russia?

He was snowed-in.

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Whose son was Edward the Black Prince ?

Old King Coal !

Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country?

He was Snowden.