Why do marble statues look so mean?

A: They have hearts of stone.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why do you look surprised in all your selfies?

Didn't you know you were taking the picture

When I look up at the majesty of all them stars it really gets me to thinkin, when we gonna get that ding dong roof patched up!?

Ah horse apples!

Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards?

In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade.

What do British girls do to hearts?

Brexit

Stone Jokes More Stone Jokes

How is medusa like weed?

She makes people stoned.

What do Lena Dunham &amp ISIS have in common ?

They both love stoning women.