What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards?

In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade.

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Begin Jokes More Begin Jokes

What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards?

In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade.

What word begins with "N" and ends in "R" that I wouldn't want to call a black guy?

Neighbor.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

I just need some space."

How many cops do you need to change a light bulb?

None. They just shoot the room for being black. Credit: donator on some stream said the joke and just wanted to share it.

Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

What did the slaughterhouse foreman say when he found out his best butcher had his heart, lungs and kidneys ripped out in a cutter accident?

That's offal

Why did the Tinman not go to the ball?

His heart wasn't in it.

Deck Jokes More Deck Jokes

Why couldn't the animals on Noah's Ark play cards?

A: Because Noah was standing on the deck!

Why didn't the dog play cards on his ocean cruise?

Because the captain stood on the deck.

Card Jokes More Card Jokes

How can you get four suits for under $2.00?

Buy a deck of cards.

Why didn't the sailors play cards on the deck?

Because the captain was sitting on the top of the deck.

Spade Jokes More Spade Jokes

What do you call a man with a spade in his head?

Doug.

What is the difference between a poker card and Africa?

The sooner is the Ace of Spades and the latter, a Space of AIDS.

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

Why is marriage is like an alarm clock?

After the ring, you wake up!

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before marriage?

Feyonce

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

What do you call a line of diamonds on fire?

Hotline Bling.

Why is a baby like an diamond?

Because it's a dear little thing.