Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?

Because it's all heart.

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Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

How do you know when a liberal is really dead?

A: His heart stops bleeding.

What is Hannibal Lecter's favorite Jane Austen quote?

There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart."**

Lettuce Jokes More Lettuce Jokes

What is called a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

Why couldn't the salad bowl play Scrabble?

It had run out of lettuce