Why'd you get me carrots and lettuce?

Wait but that means-" *Hamster at home wearing glorious diamond earrings*

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Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do women parachutists wear cups?

So they won't whistle on the way down.

How does water stay warm during the winter?

It wears an aqua-fur.

Home Jokes More Home Jokes

What do you call 1000 black people buried up to their necks?

Afroturf Also, I'm not racist. I have two color tvs at home.

What ghost did Ebenezer Scrooge encounter when he refurnished his home?

The shadow of his former shelf.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How do feminists screw in a lightbulb?

By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them EDIT: Rip inbox EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold!

What do you call a squashed Italian?

A Nepalitano. Oh yeah - wait a sec - OK - for the low-info crowd here:

Lettuce Jokes More Lettuce Jokes

What did the vegetables say at the garden party?

Lettuce turnip the beet

What did Bacon say to Tomato?

Lettuce get together!

Carrot Jokes More Carrot Jokes

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

What did one Snowman say to the other Snowman?

Can you smell carrot?

Hamster Jokes More Hamster Jokes

What is the difference between a Train and an Hamster ?

The train got windows

Why did the hamster die?

He just didn't have the wheel to live.