Spade Jokes

Which playing card can turn its hand to everything?

Jack of all Spades

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head?

Doug.

What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards?

In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade.

Who's there ! Acis ! Acis who ?

Acis spades !

What is the difference between a poker card and Africa?

The sooner is the Ace of Spades and the latter, a Space of AIDS.

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there.

How do you stop a monster digging up your garden?

Take his spade away.

How can Euchre and Marriage be similar?

Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops at three Hos.

What's the difference between a Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?

Santa stops at 3 ho's

Ace Jokes More Ace Jokes

Why do people with heart disease always lose at poker?

They have to take ACE inhibitors.

What is the difference between a poker card and Africa?

The sooner is the Ace of Spades and the latter, a Space of AIDS.

Begin Jokes More Begin Jokes

What's the fastest way to ruin free pie?

Put the word 'gluten' at the beginning

What do Windows and a submarine have in common?

If you open the windows in a submarine, your problems will begin.

Card Jokes More Card Jokes

What kind of cards do donkeys send out near Christmas?

A: Mule-tide greetings.

Why cant you play cards on a rowboat?

Because you're sitting on the deck...

End Jokes More End Jokes

What can you put at the end of a sentence, to make it funnier?

The punchline.

What is hairy on the outside, wet and fleshy on the inside, begins with C and ends with T, and has both a U and a N in it?

Coconut

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

What's big heavy furry dangerous and has sixteen wheels?

A monster on roller-skates.

Why did the monster drink ten liters of antifreeze?

So that he didn't have to buy a winter coat.

Garden Jokes More Garden Jokes

Why don't you tell secrets in a garden?

Because the corn have ears, the potatos have eyes and the beanstalk.

What do you call an Irish man who lives in your back garden?

Patti O'Furniture

Wish Jokes More Wish Jokes

What does Peter Parker wish he would have went to school for?

Web design.

What does a Mexican cop say when he wishes you a Merry Christmas?

Police Navidad.