Why didn't the dog play cards on his ocean cruise?

Because the captain stood on the deck.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Where does a dog go when his tail falls off?

The retail store

What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does Yao Ming stand for?

When he sits down it takes too long to get back up.

What do you call ten German men standing abreast, walking backward?

OC A receeding Herr line.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why don't you play with your friends?

he asked. 'Because I only have one friend' the girl replied. 'And I hate her.'

What do auditioning for an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast

Deck Jokes More Deck Jokes

Why couldn't the pirate play cards?

A: Because he was sitting on the deck !

What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards?

In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade.

Card Jokes More Card Jokes

Why does AMD call having 2 or more cards Crossfire?

Because no matter what card you cross, and how many, you're bound to start a fire.

Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle ?

Because of all the cheetahs !

Captain Jokes More Captain Jokes

What's the difference between a captain and a lt.col ?

A major difference.

Why did the captain execute the pastry chef?

Because his orders were to shoot all desserters.