Why Do Philosophers Have Such Good Teeth?

Because they philos all the time!

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How do cows measure time?

In mooments

Why was the school principal not pleased when he bumped into an old friend ?

They were both driving their cars at the time !

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What did the philosopher say to his coworker?

Cleanup on the detergent aisle"

Why couldn't the philosopher make a living?

He made no sense. I tried, I really did.