Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving "Black Friday"?

Because everything is a steal.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why Isn't The Media Covering This?

the media asks other media, peering into its media mirror, media-ing before a day of media in media.

Why was the calendar depressed?

His days were numbered.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What is the difference between the regular police and the secret service?

The secret service is the only police that gets in trouble if a black person dies. Shamelessly stolen from the correspondents' dinner.

How does Harry Houdini tell people to steal stuff?

Straight jack it.

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

Where do Crows hang out on friday night?

The crow bar.

What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*