Friday Jokes

Why is Friday the best day of the week?

Its the 5/7 day of the week

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Where do graphic designers go for a drink?

CGI Friday's

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Iowa?

Prom

Where do Muslims go after their Friday prayer?

To the Allahu Akbar

What is the only thing on earth that goes "ha ha" on a Monday?

A bit late, but.... A blonde who heard a joke on Friday.

Where do Crows hang out on friday night?

The crow bar.

Where do Crows hang out on a friday nght?

At a crow bar.

What do brunettes and red-heads do on Friday nights?

Make blonde jokes!

What happened when the cannibal got a religion?

He only ate Catholics on Fridays!

How does an international banker have a good Friday night?

He goes to a bar and slips somebody a Rupee, then gives them a Franc and some Deutsche Marks.

Why does the letter "r" make all the difference between Friday and Sunday?

payday vs prayday.

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What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

How is today Monday?

It was Friday only a few hours ago...

What do you get when you cross Jesus and a couple of criminals?

A good Friday

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Wisconsin?

Prom night.

Where do Pixar employees go for Happy Hour?

CGI Friday's.

Why are there so many dumb blonde jokes?

it gives brunnettes and redheads something to do on friday and saturday nights!

What was Jesus never thankful for?

Fridays.

What day do fries hate the most?

Friday

What u doing?

Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u

How'd he do it?

The horses name was Friday.

Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving "Black Friday"?

Because everything is a steal.

What you gonna do on St. Valentine's day?

What day is it " "Friday." "Shepherd's Pie."

How did Jesus get across Jerusalem on a busy Friday afternoon?

Cross traffic doesn't stop.

Why are you all so excited it's Friday?

Monday will be here in 5 minutes.

What do bored frogs do on a Friday night?

They go Bar Hopping!...

Which day do chickens hate the most?

Friday.

What song can never be played on #throwback Thursday?

Friday by Rebecca Black

What do you call the day after a sad Friday?

A sadder day.

Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

What's the worst thing about Fridays?

Realizing it's only Tuesday.

Where do cows go on Friday nights?

A: To the moovies.

What do you get if you have strep throat on Friday?

Saturday Night Fever.

What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

What did Justin Verlander finish on Friday?

Kate's back.

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Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

Why can you always trust a bee without wings?

Because it's down to earth.

What do you call a fissure in the earth that houses old Russian rulers who like to mock others ironically?

Tsar-Chasm

Allahu Jokes More Allahu Jokes

Where do Muslims go after their Friday prayer?

To the Allahu Akbar

Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Which US president is most responsible for unemployment in the US today?

Abraham Lincoln.

How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

How do know a clarinet player is playing loud?

A: You can almost hear them.

What did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine...?

I heard that he was fully re-covered.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf?

They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you've told her twice already

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What do you call someone who spends the whole time on their phone whenever you hang out?

A phoney friend!

Where do all the funny people hang out at a party?

In the punch line

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What's the difference between an 18yo and a washing machine?

You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you round for two weeks telling you it loves you

Why do women make better soldiers?

Because they can bleed for a week and not die.

Prom Jokes More Prom Jokes

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?

A: His ghoul friend.

Why did the Raisin take a Prune to the Prom?

Because he couldn't find a Date!