Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

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Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How much did the pirate pay for corn?

A buck an ear!

Why don't programers pay tax to the Devil?

Because that would be a sin-tax issue.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas?

Cancer. :(

What do angry rodents send each other at Christmas time ?

Cross mouse cards !

Holiday Jokes More Holiday Jokes

What does a racist decorate in their home for the holidays?

Their bigotry.

Where do idiots go on holiday?

Twitzerland.

Halloween Jokes More Halloween Jokes

What do mummies like to listen to on Halloween?

Wrap music

What do birds give out on Halloween?

A: Tweets.

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

Why does a man only get half-hour lunch-breaks?

So his boss doesn't have to retrain him.

Why did you call off yesterday?

Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

How'd he do it?

The horses name was Friday.

What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!