Holiday Jokes

Why isn't the holiday on December 25th pronounced "Chlistmas"?

Because there's no L.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Where do weeaboos holiday?

Kawaii

Where do strippers go on holiday ?

Poland

Where do idiots go on holiday?

Twitzerland.

What are your favorite jokes for the Holidays?

For those of us that struggle with our family perhaps this will help break the ice.

What do heavily-armored army vehicles celebrate for the holidays?

tanksgiving

Why can't rappers take holidays?

They always forget Tupac.

What is a rednecks favorite pie during the holidays?

Pump-Kin

What is the most said band name during the holidays?

U2

What do Native Americans do for the holidays?

Nativities.

Why couldn't the whistle blower make it home for the holidays?

he was snowden

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Where did the salami go on holiday?

Costa Deli-Sol

What do you call it when a cow goes on holiday?

A vaccation

Why did the man with acute bronchitis go on holiday?

Because he had a wee cough

Whos the coolest guy in hospital?

The ultra-sound guy. Who takes over when hes on holiday? The hip-replacement guy

Where do ants go for their holidays ?

Frants !

What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?

A merry dairy!

What does a racist decorate in their home for the holidays?

Their bigotry.

Where do bees go on holiday ?

Stingapore !

Where do Koalas love to go for a holiday?

Koala Lumpur.

What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays."

Where do ghosts go for their holidays?

The Dead Sea.

How fast can Klingon's run?

About Warf speed. My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom.

What does a llama do when it goes on holidays?

Alpaca ya bags.

Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving?

KFC isnt open on holidays.

Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday?

Cruising on a clipper.

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Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

Where did the frog say his family came from?

They are German and a tad-Polish"

What do you call a frog that's parked illegally?

Toad.

Holiday Season Jokes More Holiday Season Jokes

How does a frog greet a rabbit during the holiday season?

Hoppy holidays, and have a hoppin New Hare! Happy holidays everyone.

Why does the Devil hate the holiday Season?

Because he gets so many letters from dyslexic children.

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

Who did the Dyslexic Devil Worshipper sell his soul to?

Santa

What do you get when you cross Groot with Santa?

A Giving Christmas Tree

Poland Jokes More Poland Jokes

Why did they ban Liquid Paper, White-Out, and all other correction fluids in Poland?

They were making the PC screens unusable.

Why can't they use PC's as word-processors in Poland?

The screens keep on filling up with white-out.

Ghoul Jokes More Ghoul Jokes

How do you keep a ghoul from biting his nails?

A: Replace the nails with screws.

What do you call a mix between holiday poultry and a ghoul?

A gobblin. I'll see myself out...

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

Why didn't your back break, mom?

You're adopted."

What does a cow ride when his car is broken?

A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle!

Chinese Person Jokes More Chinese Person Jokes

What sound did the slot machine make when the Chinese person won the jackpot?

Cha-chink!

What Is a Chinese persons favorite holiday?

Chinko De Mayo

L. Jokes More L. Jokes

What's a hippies favorite animal?

An elk. He's got the E. the L. and the K.

Where is the 'L' in christmas?

There is noel