Holiday Jokes

Why isn't the holiday on December 25th pronounced "Chlistmas"?

Because there's no L.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Coffee Mug

Where do weeaboos holiday?

Kawaii

Where do strippers go on holiday ?

Poland

Where do idiots go on holiday?

Twitzerland.

What are your favorite jokes for the Holidays?

For those of us that struggle with our family perhaps this will help break the ice.

What do heavily-armored army vehicles celebrate for the holidays?

tanksgiving

Why can't rappers take holidays?

They always forget Tupac.

What is a rednecks favorite pie during the holidays?

Pump-Kin

What is the most said band name during the holidays?

U2

What do Native Americans do for the holidays?

Nativities.

Why couldn't the whistle blower make it home for the holidays?

he was snowden

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Where did the salami go on holiday?

Costa Deli-Sol

What do you call it when a cow goes on holiday?

A vaccation

Why did the man with acute bronchitis go on holiday?

Because he had a wee cough

Whos the coolest guy in hospital?

The ultra-sound guy. Who takes over when hes on holiday? The hip-replacement guy

Where do ants go for their holidays ?

Frants !

What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?

A merry dairy!

What does a racist decorate in their home for the holidays?

Their bigotry.

Where do bees go on holiday ?

Stingapore !

Where do Koalas love to go for a holiday?

Koala Lumpur.

What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays."

Where do ghosts go for their holidays?

The Dead Sea.

How fast can Klingon's run?

About Warf speed. My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom.

What does a llama do when it goes on holidays?

Alpaca ya bags.

Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving?

KFC isnt open on holidays.

Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday?

Cruising on a clipper.

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Break Jokes More Break Jokes

How does a tractor break up with its boyfriend?

With a John Deere letter.

Who else would've stolen it?

You think a burglar broke in and was like "Cute top!"

Idiot Jokes More Idiot Jokes

How do you make an idiot easily wait ?

I tell you tomorrow.

What happens when someone spills really hot coffee on you?

You will get burned, you idiot.

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?

Because Oct31 = Dec25

What do you get when you mix a helicopter and a rhino?

Hell if I know.

Greet Jokes More Greet Jokes

How do epileptics greet people?

They shake.

How do 2 psychics greet each other?

Hello, how am I " "You're fine, how am I "

Weeaboo Jokes More Weeaboo Jokes

Where do weeaboos holiday?

Kawaii

What do anime ghosts say to scare people?

Weeaboo

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What do you call a group of 10 insects that live in a housing complex?

Tenants

What did Neo say when Morpheus said: "You've been living in a dreamworld Neo"?

I noe

Kawaii Jokes More Kawaii Jokes

What do you call the Japanese police force?

Kawaii Five-0

Where do weeaboos holiday?

Kawaii

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Who is missing an egg?

there are 27 people in the room but on 53 eggs, you know what that means, someone is missing an egg.

How do you know your dog's cancer is really bad?

If the vet says it's mutt-astasized.