How is today Monday?

It was Friday only a few hours ago...

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How woke?

Me: We're putting Harriet Tubman on something that enslaves us all today.

How did the sperm cross the road?

I put the wrong socks on today.

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Wisconsin?

Prom night.

Where do cows go on Friday nights?

A: To the moovies.

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

Why do blondes work seven days a week?

A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

How long have you been in pain?

Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997

Hour Ago Jokes More Hour Ago Jokes

What do we want!?

No daylight savings!" "When do we want it! " "An hour ago!!!"

Why did my wife cross the road?

To go back into the first clothes shop we went into two hours ago.