Why doesn't Ronald Reagan drink orange juice?

Because he's dead.

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Why do hipsters drink coffee so quickly?

They want to finish before it's cool.

Why do blondes always drink with straws?

A: Practice.

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How do Protestants like their orange juice?

without Pope

What do you call orange juice that looks like apple juice, but tastes like orange juice?

Juice Jenner. I'll be here all week

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What does Ronald Reagan have that Jimmy Carter doesn't?

A widow.

What's Ronald Reagan's favorite vegetable?

James Brady