Why don't paperclips move around a lot?

They like being stationery.

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What do people who don't like the slippery slope argument call it?

The slippery slope fallacy

What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast?

Marma'lady

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Why the turnout at Michael Jackson's funeral?

He touched a lot of people.

What happens if you cross an Ape with an octopus?

You get a fur coat with lots of sleeves!