Why is Chris Christie such a successful man?

Because he is too big to fail.

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What did the man say to his wife when he failed to get an erection?

No hard feelings.

What did the failing kidney say to the healthy one?

Urine charge now.

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What Did Chris Christie Give Up For Lent?

The US Presidential Campaign!

Why didn't they tell Chris Christie they took his pony away?

He would've found it hard to digest.