Fail Jokes

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

What do you get in the Netherlands, when you fail your driving test three times?

A yellow license plate.

Why did the Mexican fail English 101?

He wouldn't turn in his essay

Why did the T-Rex fail his business project?

He couldn't make hands meet.

Why would the Holocaust have failed if the victims were Islamic?

Because it would have been impossible to get a Muslim to take a shower.

Why did the Muslim fail his Chemistry Exam ?

because to him, alcohol is not a solution.

Why did the farmer fail to bring in the whole harvest before winter frost?

He got lost in the maize.

Why did the math student fail his exam?

He needed to sketch the sine and cuisine graphs but only knew how to do cos(-x)

Why did the privileged white guy fail his algebra test?

He didn't know enough about inequalities

Why did the leper fail his driving test?

He left his foot on the clutch.

Why did the black kid fail algebra?

Because he didn't study.

Why did the dog fail his driving test?

Because he's a dog. Dogs cannot drive.

Why do failing college girls always screw their professors?

Cause they want the D.

When is a triangle a rectangle?

When it fails

What did the failing kidney say to the healthy one?

Urine charge now.

Why did the guitar shop fail a fire safety inspection?

No Stairway.

What did the chicken say ?

What did they chicken say to his friends after being sent to the hospital after failing to cross the road ?. Don't worry ill get over it.

Why did the Soviet union fail?

Too much Stalin'. Yeah it's bad but it made me giggle when I thought of it... :P

Why did Mrs. Piggy's relationship fail?

She couldn't stand making Kermitments

What did the kidney say to the other kidney when it failed?

Urine trouble now.

Why couldn't the dwarves renew their lease on the Lonely Mountain?

It failed the Smaug test.

Why did the restaurant on the moon fail?

They barely had any atmosphere.

Why did the hipster fail chemistry?

He thought the bond was ironic.

What's the worst thing about challenging an unjust law?

Failing to get away.

What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?

A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I told them nothing."

Why did the hipster fail making ice cubes for his bourbon?

Because he pulled out the tray before it was cool

Why women fail at saving money?

Have you ever seen a money-box (piggy bank) with a hole at the bottom...

Why did the baseball player fail at the math test?

He used base 3.

What did the calculus student who failed his test and the guy who got a speed ticket have in common?

They didn't know their limits

Why did the atheist fail algebra?

He didn't believe in higher powers!

What do all failing students in New Orleans have in common?

They are all below "C level".

What did the pilot who fail flying school did when he went home?

Got high.

How did you keep from failing that?

I didn't take algebra!

What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson?

He stank to the bottom of the pool!

Why do physicists have such a hard time figuring out why their experiments fail Monday through Thursday?

Causal fridays.

Why did my Exotic Bird Startup Store fail?

I didn't have enough seed money.

Who knows where they went?

They just kept wenting. - Why my mystery novel failed

Who do you pat with encouragement when they fail to work?

A Remote control

What did the Illuminati say when they tried to read someone's mind, but failed to do so?

Curses, foiled again!"

Why did the horse fail German?

Because he could only say, "neighn!"

How do you fail a urine test with a clean sample?

Poop in the specimen cup.

Why did former Alabama governor George Wallace fail high school calculus?

He refused to integrate.

Why did the student fail his physics test?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Why did the necromancer fail to meet his quarterly sales goal?

He ran his business on a skeleton crew.

Why did the Naval Inspector fail the submarine?

Because he found it to be SUB-standard.

Why did the Buddhist photographer fail at taking pictures?

Bad cam'ra

Why is Chris Christie such a successful man?

Because he is too big to fail.

Why did Chewbacca fail his driving test?

He made a few Wookiee errors.

What brings you here?

14.99 per month and a addiction to a game that's been failing since Cata

What is little, red and crawling up a womans leg?

A failed abortion with homesickness.

This joke may have profanity.

Why did the man's kidneys fail?

They didn't study.

Why did the operation Barbarossa fail?

The supreme commander didn't have the balls required.

What do you call a failed resistance?

Ohmless

Why did the Dino Dance Team fail the Talent Show?

They were all Nervous-Rex

Why did the wave fail the driving test?

It kept crashing on the beach.

What did the Redditor say when... What did Redditor say when asked why he failed his PSAT test?

TL;DR"

Why did Helen Keller fail her road test?

Because she was a woman

Why is he bleeding "Because you stabbed him?

FAIL "Because he doesn't floss" CORRECT!

What do you call an exam that a Biology major almost failed?

Biodegradable.

Why do you keep saying flail?

Because Fail isn't in my vocabulary. ------- Overheard on the train.

What did the gangster's son tells his dad when he failed his examination?

Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I told them nothing!!!"

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