Why is King Joffrey like a mattress?

Two twins make a King.

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How do the Lannisters save money on new beds?

They push Two twins together to make a King

Why do clouds make good Kings?

Because they have rain over every country in the world.

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What do you call twins with no arms and no legs, hanging by a window?

Curt 'n Rod

What did the black intellectual name her twins?

Entendre and....Entendre!

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Why are there so many piggy banks?

Pigs don't like to hide their money in the mattress.

What's the definition of a Mistress?

Oh, I don't know. Probably something between a Mister and a mattress.