Twin Jokes

What's the best part about dating a twin?

Nobody can judge you on your age difference.

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What did the black intellectual name her twins?

Entendre and....Entendre!

Why do the Lannisters have such big beds?

They push two twins together to make a king.

How do the Lanisters make large beds?

They put two twins together to make a king.

Where do twin lesbians party?

Klondike Bar

How do the Lannisters save money on new beds?

They push Two twins together to make a King

Why did the twins have twice as many shirts as pants?

Because they shared genes!

What type of fruit do twins prefer?

Pears.

Why is King Joffrey like a mattress?

Two twins make a King.

What do you call Afghan triplets?

Twins! I am so sorry....

What do you call twins with no arms and no legs, hanging by a window?

Curt 'n Rod

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Where do twin lesbians meet up?

A Clone Dyke Bar.

Why did the mother of twins name both of her sons Edward?

Because two Eds are better than one.

What did two twins name a towing company started in lower Manhattan?

The Twin Towers.

What is the height of honesty?

A: A pregnant lady takes one and a half ticket in the bus Q: What is the height of dishonesty A: She gives birth to twins

What do you call a pair of twins who live together?

Womb-mates"

What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A: A pair of Re-bachs.

Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?

She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.

Why do the Lannisters have such a big bed?

They pushed two twins together and made a king.

Why did the identical twins survive the plane crash?

Because twins being destroyed by planes is too cliche, I guess.

Why do the Lannisters have such large beds?

They put two twins together to make a king.

Why do Lannisters have such big beds?

GoT because they push twins together to make a king.

Why don't you hire these twins for the robbery boss?

Criminal Boss: I'm afraid of a double-cross.

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Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

What's the opposite of marshmellow?

Well, I guess it would be marshmadness

Why did they start using liquid soaps in prisons?

if you thought because you can't drop it, guess again) Because it takes longer to pick up.

Lean Tower Pisa Jokes More Lean Tower Pisa Jokes

What is the difference between the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Twin Towers?

Better reflexes.

Why does the Leaning Tower of Pisa lean?

It is italicized.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

How do you stop a charging bull?

Take away its credit card!*** wa-waa-waaaa! Skip

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

How are college students like plants?

They both need natural light to survive!

How did the autistic boy survive his jump from a plane?

He was retarded

Big Bed Jokes More Big Bed Jokes

Why do the Lanisters have such big beds?

Because they push 2 twins together to make a king.

Why do the Lannisters have such a big bed?

They pushed two twins together and made a king.

Airplane Mode Jokes More Airplane Mode Jokes

How do you blow up a Muslim's iPhone?

Put it into airplane mode.

Why did the people's phones stop working on the plane's that crashed into the twin towers?

They were in airplane mode. (I'm so sorry)

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between yogurt and white people?

If left out for 4,000 years, yogurt will develop culture.

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lima bean?

I've never paid to have a lima bean on my chest.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What do you call a koala that drives?

A koalafied driver! *badum-tis*

What do Hispanic parents say to teach their son to drive?

Jesus, take the wheel!