Why is Santa Claus always so happy?

He knows where all the bad girls live

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much?

Because they built their stuff with reads!

How do I know you're not John Cena?

I can see you

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What is yellow and lives off beetles?

Yoko Ono

What did Bruce Willis say to motivate his son?

Son, if at first you don't succeed, Try Hard. If that doesn't work, Try Hard 2. If that still doesn't work, Try Hard with a Vengeance. Remember, you can't pick between the choice to Live Free or Try Hard. They go together. Everyday's A Good Day to Try Hard."

Santa Claus Jokes More Santa Claus Jokes

Why is Santa Claus so jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live. I actually heard this in the video game LA Noire. Thought it was pretty funny so I bust it out every Christmas.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

Claustrophobic

Bad Girl Jokes More Bad Girl Jokes

When you talk to a good girl, ask 'How are you?

When you talk to a bad girl, ask 'How much are you '

What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl?

What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl? A GOOD girl goes to a party, goes home then goes to bed. A BAD girl goes to a party, goes to bed then goes home.