Why isn't Sean Connery an unmarried roofer?

He's not a fan of the shingle life.

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Fan Jokes More Fan Jokes

How come the stadium got hot after the game?

Because all of the fans left.

Why did the film critic protest the new children's cemetery?

He's not a fan of juvenile plots.

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

What does Sean Connery's nemesis and the crater of a volcano have in common?

They're both ash-holes.

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit