How can you tell a mechanic has gotten lucky?

He's got one clean finger!

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What do you call a kid who tells bad jokes?

A redditor

How do you please all the people?

Tell them Ellen Pao has stepped down as of today!

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How can you tell a mechanic has gotten lucky?

He's got one clean finger!

How do you know if a homeless man has a girlfriend?

He has two clean fingers.

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What's the one thing a mechanic can't fix?

Stupid

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?

A mechanic.