How can you tell Cap'n Crunch is terrible?

He hasn't been promoted since 1963...

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How could they tell Amy Winehouse was dead?

No, seriously. How could they tell?

How can you tell if you have a mature or an immature sense of humor?

poop.

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Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier?

A: To promote off-shore drilling.

What do you call promoting a broom to the highest rank in the military?

A Sweeping Generalization.

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Why did the accountant cross the street?

To crunch numbers.

What do you get is you cross a ghost with a packet of potato chips?

Snacks that go crunch in the night.