How can you tell the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?

The picture doesn't scream when you hang it.

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Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What is Robin Williams doing in heaven?

Not sure, probably just hanging out.

What does a suicidal person say while leaving a party?

I want to hang by myself for a bit. Edit: Not suicidal. Just gallows humor.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if someone lifts?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

How can you tell if an American has a conceal carry permit?

They'll tell you.

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

Whats the best thing on the menu?

Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*

Why did Nike release a vine of the "Back to the Future" Power Lace shoes??

Because the pictures were way to shaky......

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What's white and red, 3 inches long, and makes dudes scream and run away when you show it to them?

A positive pregnancy test.

What is Dracula's favorite pudding?

Leeches and scream.