How can you tell the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?

The picture doesn't scream when you hang it.

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Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?

Someone told him he should get an apple Mac

What do you call a dead guy hanging on your wall?

Art.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him?

Babe, it's a valve!"

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

What do you call a turtle that sends pictures to everyone?

a Snapping Turtle

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What is a vampire's favourite soup ?

Scream of mushroom !

What would George Washington do if he were alive right now?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.