How did Humpty Dumpty get ripped?

Wall-sits.

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Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What do you get when you sit on a potato?

A potato wedge! (I made this up when I was 9)

What do cows sit on?

Couches

Rip Jokes More Rip Jokes

How did Jesus get so ripped?

He does crossfit.

Why were all the girls looking at the piece of paper?

Because it was ripped.