How did the shellfish win the underwater beauty pageant?

Using saxitoxin.

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How do truckers contact each other in Wisconsin?

They use a Milwaukee-Talkie

How does a religious extremist convert an atheist into a holy man?

They use a machine gun.

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How did the OBGYN win the election?

He was able to stirrup some controversy about his opponent with his effective smear campaign.

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

Shellfish Jokes More Shellfish Jokes

How did the shellfish win the underwater beauty pageant?

Using saxitoxin.

What do you call a stingy crab?

Shellfish.