How did you get here?

he asked. And the new angel replied "Flu..."

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When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones?

I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones

How does Sean Connery ask for Worchestershire sauce?

x-post from askreddit) Worsheshershershosh.

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How can I buy the New York Times?

He replies "Ask my wife. She'll tell you how you do it.

How high are you! ?

demanded the officer. "No Officer, it's "Hi, how are you "." replied the kid.

Flu Jokes More Flu Jokes

What do you call a flying pig?

Swine flu

What's the difference between a bag of chips and a duck with the flu?

One's a quick snack and the other's a sick quack!