When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones?

I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Did you know that protons have mass?

I didn't even know they were catholic.

How do you know a blonde likes you?

A: She screws you two nights in a row.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What are the similarities between feminists and hobos?

They both ask for change and never get any.

How did I get here?

I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why did the Energizer Bunny need to lawyer up?

He was charged with battery.

How about something personal?

Me: Personally I need a job.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Why did the clock phone the ruler?

Because desperate times call for desperate measures....

What do you call a doctor who is always on a phone?

An oncologist

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

What did you do before you were married sir?

A: *with teary eyes* whatever the hell i wanted to do ...

What do you get when you chop up a fruit and mix it with vegetables?

I don't know but it was hard as hell stealing thier wheelchairs with pieces of Richard Simmons tripping me up.

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

What do you get if you push a piano out of a plane over a military base?

A flat major

What do you call a black guy that flys a plane?

A pilot, you racist!

Headphone Jokes More Headphone Jokes

What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on?

A: Anything you want. He can't hear you.

What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones ?

Hush puppies !