How do dolphins send messages?

By sea-mail.

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Why is there no point in sending medicine to Athiopia?

Because the instructions usually say: "Take after meals."

Why were there so many Hawaiian lei's at the funeral?

the obituary read "Please send donations in luau flowers."

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What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person?

You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message.

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Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career?

She had no sense of porpoise.

Why did the dolphin feel crabby?

Because he ate too many crabs!