How do you cut down a hipster tree?

A suuh dude!

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What is the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart. It will cut through your pants and not even leave a hole.

How does a Mexican cut their pizza?

Little Caesars

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Why don't you want to hang out with a dude from Chicago?

Because 'Illinois you!

What did the Hippie say to the invisible elephant?

Hey dude, you're outta sight!