How do you fix a monkey?

With a Monkey Wrench!

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What did the police officer say to the zoo keeper?

Yeah I get it, I shoot monkeys on sight too.

What did the monkey say when he put his tail on the railroad tracks?

It's won't be long now!

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How many republicans does it take to fix a problem?

No one knows. It's never happened.

How do you fix a broken website?

With stick e-tape.

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How do you fix a broken gorilla?

With a monkey wrench.

How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's twisted it?

With a monkey wrench.