What's the difference between an old-time organ grinder and a heroin addict?

One has a monkey on a leash and the other has a monkey on his back.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Bernie Sanders and a free lunch?

Bernie Sanders exists.

What's the difference between babies and love?

Love doesn't burn. What's worst part about making love to a dead baby. Digging up the coffin. How long does take to play hide and seek with a dead baby? It depends how small the pieces are.

Monkey Jokes More Monkey Jokes

What do monkeys sleep on?

Apricots. I used to love this joke when I was a little kid and told it over and over. I'm still a little in love with it for that reason. What are some of your favorite jokes from when you were a little kid?

What are apricots?

Where monkeys sleep.

Leash Jokes More Leash Jokes

How do blind skydivers know when to pull the cord?

The leash goes slack

How to blind parachutist know they're close to the ground?

The feel the leash go slack! (heard this one while listening to some irish tunes)

Heroin Addict Jokes More Heroin Addict Jokes

What do cutters and heroin addicts have in common?

Long sleeves.

How many heroin addicts does it take to change a lightbulb?

Four. One to hold the lightbulb and three to smoke until the room starts spinning!