How do you tell jokes?

Repost :(

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Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday?

GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you.

What is the worst part about being told you have Alzheimer's?

It never happens just once.

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Whats the V in DVD stand for?

Cuz if it were lying down it wouldnt make any sense. (first post to reddit, made up this joke today .. be kind)

How do you make a cat go "Woof!"?

Soak it in petrol and put a match to it. (This is a joke, not and instruction, Reddit)

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a room?

Depends on how you throw (idk if this is a repost)

How many redditors does it take to point out a repost?

All of them.