How long does it take To microwave a baby?

I'm too busy jerking of to watch a timer.

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What is the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

The people in Dubai don't watch the Flintstones but the people in Abu Dhabidoooo!

What did Snoop say Dr. Dre while binge watching their favorite TV show?

Are you ready for the next episode?

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How do you get a kid out from a microwave?

Please answer before my wife gets home!

What's the difference between a microwave and a Muslim?

A microwave doesn't blow up every time the timer goes off.

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Why do Mormon women stop having babies at 35?

A: Because 36 would be too many.

What baby?

Oh, so you're not pregnant '

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Why did the traitor wear two watches?

Because he's a two timer.

What's the difference between a microwave and a Muslim?

A microwave doesn't blow up every time the timer goes off.