How do you get a kid out from a microwave?

Please answer before my wife gets home!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between this morning and your wife?

I'm not coming in *this morning*"

What does his wife call it?

Microsoft.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Which kid is mine?

I like to reply "I haven't decided yet."

What does a monster mom say to her kids at dinnertime?

Don't talk with someone in your mouth.

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

What's black?

Whats black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

How long does it take for George R.R. Martin to finish a Reddit post?

Answer coming Fall 2017.

Microwave Jokes More Microwave Jokes

What happens when you put a soul-singing duck in a microwave?

It's Bill Withers.

Why shouldn't you put a baby in the microwave?

Because you get better results from slowly roasting it in the oven.