How many fish did it take to consume my wife?

None. There are no fish under my new gazebo

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

When I get mad at you, you never fight back.How do you control your anger?

WIFE : I clean the toilet.... HUSBAND:How does that help WIFE : I use your toothbrush.

Why did Jose push his wife off the cliff?

Tequila...

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What does a Frog use to fish with?

A TAD POLE.

What kind of musical instrument can you use for fishing?

The cast-a-net.

Consume Jokes More Consume Jokes

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

What does a bartender give you when you need the feeling of a strong drink, but you're not allowed ton consume alcohol?

Xanax since he's a Bartender