How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

he proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Who did Alaska vote for?

Berrrnie Sanders H/T: wife

Why did the chicken cross my wife?

Because I ran her over in the street.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why did the Italian wear handcuffs to bed?

So he wouldn't talk in his sleep

Whats the best part about sleeping with a midget?

You're sure to get a little head

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When he grow up, he will ask me, "Dad, did you name me after a planet?

And i will be like, "No:("

What did the llama say when asked to a picnic?

Alpaca lunch!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why do women wear striped bras?

Because it's a ZEBRA.

What's the difference between an onion and a woman?

I cry when I cut open an onion

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Hows your headache?

Husband: She's fine.

What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a supermodel?

Nothing if her husband knows what's good for him!

Darling Jokes More Darling Jokes

What's your Mom's name?

Kid: Mom's last name must be "Darling" because that's what Daddy calls her every time.... Teacher: That's so sweet. What's her first name then? Kid: I think it's "Sorry"....

How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

When people say 'oh, you're still single?

I like to reply with 'wow, you're still married ' I'm popular.

Where do you see yourself in 10 yrs time?

Same as now - in photos and mirrors," I replied