How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you

What's the difference between a wife and a dog?

The later you get home, the happier one is to see you

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why aren't you mowing the lawn?

Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight

Why did the Italian wear handcuffs to bed?

So he wouldn't talk in his sleep

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?

The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."

Why did the Band Geek ask the Football star for tips?

Because he's a waiter. (lol)

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do women and modern computers have in common?

Neither one will accept a 3 and a half inch floppy

How did the man get the woman into the pool club?

He snooker in!

Darling Jokes More Darling Jokes

Why don't kids at school get my sarcastic humor?

Me: Because they have boring parents, darling.

What's your Mom's name?

Kid: Mom's last name must be "Darling" because that's what Daddy calls her every time.... Teacher: That's so sweet. What's her first name then? Kid: I think it's "Sorry"....

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

How do I get to 280?

A man steps out of line and replies "I guess diet and exercise didn't work!"

How do you reply when someone on /r/askscience asks you on a date?

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