Darling Jokes

What's your Mom's name?

Kid: Mom's last name must be "Darling" because that's what Daddy calls her every time.... Teacher: That's so sweet. What's her first name then? Kid: I think it's "Sorry"....

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What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano?

He said "Darling you've got lovely teeth."

How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

he proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

Why don't kids at school get my sarcastic humor?

Me: Because they have boring parents, darling.

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Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?

Shoot him again.

Whats the difference between a house cat and a polecat ?

How much their husbands make

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the executioner say to his wife when he left?

I'll beheading out now.

How does the redneck help his wife with the dishes?

He gets her Dawn.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why do little boys whine?

Because they're practicing to be men.

Why did the man get a job as a horse handler?

He wanted stable employment

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

How much will that be?

asks the neutron. "For you " replies the bartender, "no charge."

When someone says "It is what it is," I reply, "Isn't it?

so we can both sound useless.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens to all the unsold christmas trees?

A Total TreeCull. Basically, on the evening of December 25th, every christmas tree salesperson does the trees

What happens when someone mixes Francium, Oxygen, Tungsten, and Nitrogen after it explodes?

The chemist may frown.

Hollywood Jokes More Hollywood Jokes

Why does Hollywood loveee to hire British Actors?

Cheap labor.

Why does Kevin Bacon not get more leading roles in Hollywood?

Because it's not kosher. http://36.media.tumblr.com/cb0ad7dd38767e0fc2363665afdb5cdd/tumblrinlinentae7hsEL21tw80r81280.jpg

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why do skeletons have so many kids?

Because all they can do is bone.

Why doesn't Gabe Newell have kids?

He can't get to 3rd base

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why do women make better soldiers?

Because they can bleed for a week and not die.

What's the difference between the stock market and women?

With the stock market you can only lose when you pull out.