Darling Jokes

What's your Mom's name?

Kid: Mom's last name must be "Darling" because that's what Daddy calls her every time.... Teacher: That's so sweet. What's her first name then? Kid: I think it's "Sorry"....

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What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano?

He said "Darling you've got lovely teeth."

How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

he proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

Why don't kids at school get my sarcastic humor?

Me: Because they have boring parents, darling.

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Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

Why do old people read the bible so much?

I asked my grandad the other day "why do old people read the bible so much?" He replied "cause we're cramming for finals"

How's your head?

Don't reply with "No man has ever complained."

School Jokes More School Jokes

What do Romulans and Vulcans do with their high school drop outs?

Send them to barber school.

Why were the yearbook students expelled?

They shot the whole school.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Where have you been?

he asked. "To my mother-in-law's burial." "Then why the scratches on your face " "She kept resisting, that old fart."

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How many cats does it take for a woman to qualify as a "crazy cat lady?

None. Just a couple of youtube cat videos.

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?

Divorced.

Moo Hoo Jokes More Moo Hoo Jokes

What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher?

Ground round!

What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle?

A nerd herd!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Where do men with erectile dysfunction go to find a job?

Ubisoft

What did the man say to the Formula 1 driver who nearly rear-ended him?

Thanks Verstappen.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What did the horse say when he fell over?

Help! I've fallen and I can't giddy up."

What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common?

They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What does Bob Marley wear to sleep?

pa-jammins

Whats the best thing about being addicted to speed?

Only one more sleep until Christmas!