What did the man who ate a clock say?

That was time consuming but I still want seconds.

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Why divorce now after all this time together?

Woman: We wanted to wait until the kids were dead.

Why did the engineer put a clock under his desk?

A: He wanted to work overtime.

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How do mathematicians count x-men?

Permutations.

How many light bulbs does it take to change a man?

Just one, if you put it in the right place.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

Why are 490 Romans are funny ?

Because XD Edit : Sorry about the typo the second are is not supposed to be here

What's better than getting second place at the special Olympics?

Not being retarded

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What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Why did 6 break up with 7?

Because 7 ate 9 out

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How many fish did it take to consume my wife?

None. There are no fish under my new gazebo

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

Clock Jokes More Clock Jokes

What did the man who ate a clock say?

That was time consuming but I still want seconds.

What time is it when a Muslim immigrant brings a clock to school in Texas?

Time to get a new principal.