How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?

Never enough.

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How do you stop a nuclear bomb from squeaking...?

WMD40.

Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?

Because they can't stop saving their work.

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Whats the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

Which lawyers are U2 fans?

The pro bono ones