How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb ?

1 or 2 ? 1... or 2...

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What are the two main differences between a Chihuahua and a German shepherd?

1. Spelling 2. Pronunciation

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

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How many heretics does it take to change a lightbulb?

We're not sure, they've yet to see the light.

How many Viet Nam vets does it take to change a light bulb?

You don't know? That's right, you know, because you weren't there, man!

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What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving?

1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise

How many blondes does it take to screw a light bulb?

Just 1...blondes will screw anything.