How many sad soccer fans are there today?

A Brazillion...

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How would you like your school girls today, Mr. Holmes?

Elementary, my dear Watson.

What was the last thing a blonde heard before dying of old age?

A: "Today children we will learn our ABC's"

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How many sad soccer fans are there today?

A Brazillion...

How many Brazilians does it take to change a lightbulb?

One Brazillion.