What's the difference between a singer-songwriter and a puppy?

A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a blond and a washing machine?

When you drop a load into a washing machine it doesn't follow you around for a week.

What is the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?

A BMW's pricks are on the inside!

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!

Why don't they play poker in the savanna?

because there are too many cheetahs. Thank you i will be here all day.

Puppy Jokes More Puppy Jokes

What do you call someone who molests puppies and kittens?

A Petophile

What do you call a litter of puppies who've been out in the snow?

Slush Puppies

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop a French tank?

A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it!

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What kind of tree grows in your hand?

A palm tree.

Why is it called extra virgin olive oil?

Because they grow the olives inside, away from the birds and the bees.

Whine Jokes More Whine Jokes

What do you call a 20 year old spaceship that whines all the time and never wants to run properly?

The Millenial Falcon.

What should you never do in front of an alcoholic?

Whine.