How to tell if you're wearing too much Axe: 1. Are you wearing Axe?

No- Good. Yes- That's too much.

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What would Hillary tell Bill when she will sit at the Oval Office?

Close, Bill, but no cigar!"

What does amnesia mean?

Someone told me but I forgot.

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Where is the best place for a 1-legged waitress to work?

IHOP

How many dubstep fans does it take to clean a shower?

100. 1 to actually clean the shower, and 99 to stand around and talk about how filthy it is.

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Why'd the seaman cross the road?

Because I wore the wrong sock that day.

How do you know if an Asian is depressed?

All around them are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces.

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When O. J. Simpson's kids wanted to go out and play, what did he tell them?

Go axe your mother."

How do you get a clown to stop smiling?

Hit him in the face with an axe