What happens if an axe falls on your car?

You have an ax-i-dent (accident).

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What happens to the cannibal who is late to the party?

He gets the cold shoulder.

What happened to the horse that ate a duracell battery?

He went on furlong-er.

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What do you call a snake that rides around on the front of a car?

A windshield viper.

What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks

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What is black and white and screams?

A. A nun falling down a flight of stairs.

When pianists fall in love what is their favourite position ?

the four hands (you dirty minds)

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How do you keep a clown from laughing?

Hit him in the face with an axe.

How do you stop a clown from laughing?

Hit it in the face with an axe.

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What tool does a black lumberjack use?

An ask. (Explanation: Because most black people say ax for ask, it is swapped around.) Came up with it by myself, how did I do

What did the lesbian lumberjill say to her girlfriend?

Have I got an ax to grind with you.