What are your best "If I had for every time..." jokes?

Two of my favorites are:

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you call it when you smoke weed and work out at the same time?

Getting all high and mighty

Why did the yankee wolf like southern ladies?

By the time they said "I'm not that kind of girl" they were.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What's yellow and lies in a pond?

Disclaimer: I don't know how well this joke will work in english. What's yellow and lies in a pond? An excevator. You don't think this is funny? Neither does the operator.

Who's there ! Cugat ! Cugat who ?

Cugat to love my jokes !

Favorite Jokes More Favorite Jokes

What is Macauley Culkins favorite salad dressing?

Neverland Ranch.

Why are there separate book donation boxes for Nigeria, Ghana, AND Zambia outside the bookstore?

Am I supposed to pick my favorite