What are your best "If I had for every time..." jokes?

Two of my favorites are:

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What pick-up line works 100% of the time?

Does this smell like chloroform to you

What did Mike Tyson say when asked about the time he fought the God of Asgard?

The loser was 'thore'"

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Which of these jokes do the pigs like best?

The corniest ones.

What kind of jokes does a mute clown tell?

Dumb ones!

Favorite Jokes More Favorite Jokes

What is cookie monsters favorite war?

Vietnom nom nom nom

What's a rednecks favorite part of archaology?

Relative dating