What candy do you give your wife before you get married?

Pre-nup brittle.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Who loves you more, your wife or your dog?

Lock them both in the trunk of your car for an hour. Guess who is happy to see you when you open the trunk

What did Wilford Brimley say to his wife when he found out she was pregnant?

You have diafetus

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

What do you call two fruits that can't get married?

Cantaloupes

What type of fruit is not allowed to get married?

Cantaloupe...

Candy Jokes More Candy Jokes

Which do you choose?

WRONG. Neither. Don't ever take my candy.

Why does Daniel love white vans?

Because he likes candy... *I'll walk myself out*